so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
false alarm, still single
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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