Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
