I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My cat gives me a boner
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize