Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
