he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
