no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize