So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
