no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
