Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize