why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
