I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
