he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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