I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
