He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
