Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
