So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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