He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
