Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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