I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
