I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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