Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
