i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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