One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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