I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
