is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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