Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This girl is more easily done than said...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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