I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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