dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
