Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
