i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
