Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
