Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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