you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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