She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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