Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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