so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
