Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
