Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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