thus making me awesome and them whores
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
