Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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