So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
