her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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