I just made out with a guy for $7.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
