Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
