We won't sleep together?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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