I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
