similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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