Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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