I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
