Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
there is glitter all over my balls
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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