Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
