Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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