Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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