hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
