Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
