You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
