I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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