we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
smell my finger.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
