D3 body, D1 cock
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
