i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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