he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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