I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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