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I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
third nipple confirmed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
