Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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