Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
