Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize