need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize