did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
