Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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