two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
