the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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