i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
